Why I Still Feel Anxious — Even With 18,872 People Supporting Me
If I’m being honest, sometimes when a post doesn’t take off right away… I spiral.
And I hate even admitting that.
From the outside, it probably looks silly. I’ve grown. I’ve built a community. There are over 18,000 of you following along. That’s not small. That’s not insignificant.
But numbers don’t cancel anxiety.
I try really hard not to tie my worth to engagement. I remind myself that algorithms fluctuate. I remind myself that reach isn’t the same as impact. I remind myself that consistency matters more than one post.
And still… sometimes my brain says:
“Why didn’t this one do well?”
“Did I say something wrong?”
“Am I falling off?”
It’s wild how fast your thoughts can turn on you.
Growth Doesn’t Cancel Anxiety
One thing I’m learning is that growth doesn’t magically erase insecurity.
It doesn’t matter if you have 100 followers or 18,000.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a stay-at-home mom, a working mom, a business owner, or all three.
Anxiety doesn’t disappear just because things are going “well.”
In fact, sometimes it gets louder when you care deeply about what you’re building.
The Pressure We Don’t Talk About
Content creation looks fun (and it is), but there’s this quiet pressure underneath it.
You show up.
You share your life.
You open yourself up.
And then you wait.
And that waiting? That’s where your mind can wander.
But here’s what I’m reminding myself lately:
Engagement is data — not identity.
Reach is a number — not my value.
Growth is happening — even when it feels quiet.
Why My Subscribers Mean So Much
This is why having subscribers feels different.
It feels intentional.
It feels supportive.
It feels like real people choosing to be here — not just scrolling past.
And that means more than any algorithm spike ever could.
If You’re Struggling Too
If you’ve ever felt anxious even when things are technically “going good,” I see you.
Anxiety is normal.
It’s human.
It doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It just means you care.